


Impossible

by hoshiko2kokoro (hoshiko2)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-06
Updated: 2012-12-06
Packaged: 2017-11-20 11:09:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/584742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoshiko2/pseuds/hoshiko2kokoro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>England has to remember to trust, even if it seems impossible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Impossible

England enjoyed when he could feel America holding him while he slept, so that when he woke up, the start of his day was filled with him and only him. Of course, he would never say such a sappy thing aloud, so when America awoke, all loud yawns and stretching limbs, England would simply kiss him on the nose as if to convey all he felt in that one gesture. In turn, America would embrace him and give a kiss in reply. It was like clockwork.

So, when England woke up and realized everything was off-track he wasn't happy about it. America was lying next to him in bed, texting intently. He didn't even notice England was awake. England cleared his throat in hopes of garnering the man's attention, but it proved futile. Then, he coughed, but still nothing. After shifting about in his spot to jostle the bed some, he resorted to draping himself over America's chest. He would never do so if it were later in the day, but morning tended to bring out a softer side in the nation.

"Whoa, hey there," America said with a laugh. He didn't put the phone down.

"Good morning," England replied. "Who are you texting?"

"Kiku," America replied casually. He returned to his typing. "But I think he's going soon…"

England smiled to himself, and then he began placing kisses on America's bare skin. "Mmm, so warm."

America giggled. "Hey now. Come on. Let's go eat, okay?"

The two got up after England left a few more kisses. Their day remained relatively uneventful, until the afternoon began to creep up on them. America had returned to fiddling with his phone and ignored England until well past dinner. The couple had taken up their normal routine of winding down their day in the living room with the television on, a cup of warm tea for England, and America with his feet up on the ottoman as they cuddled up together.

That was not the case today, however. America didn't turn on the television, so England chose to knit instead. It was difficult to even sit next to America and keep his concentration given how distracting the other nation was with his fingers rapidly typing away on the touchscreen. England ground his teeth, but said nothing.

It was coming on nine o' clock, well past when Japan should have gone to bed in his country, and England was feeling neglected. He thought the best path was to seduce America until he paid him some attention.

"Darling," he started with a sweet voice. America raised his eyebrows, but not his head. "I was thinking that perhaps…tonight… we could make love?"

America stopped instantly and snapped his head up. England felt victorious as he watched the man grin widely. "Yeah?! Shit, lemme just finish this up and we'll get right to it. Why don't you go shower real fast, hm?"

England chuckled and ran a hand under America's chin tenderly. "I'll be waiting in the bedroom, love."

America purred in response, but went right back to texting. Briefly, England wondered if America and Japan were discussing something very serious. But if it was that important, wouldn't Japan just call instead? It didn't matter. England had captured America's attention, and very soon, he would be the only person America would be thinking about as he had him bent over and thrust hard into him.

But when the time came for America to show up in the bedroom, horny and craving for England, he didn't arrive. England waited and called sweetly to him. There was no reply.

"Did that idiot fall asleep?" England mumbled to himself.

He got off of the bed and made his way downstairs back to his living room. He hadn't even bothered to change, seeing as he would soon be naked anyways. And there, in the same position as before, was America, furiously typing away as usual.

"America!" England snapped. Said man jumped and looked over. "What are you doing?"

"I…"

"I've been waiting!"

"I'm sorry!" America said hurriedly. "I got distracted and-"

"Distracted by what?" England gestured to himself. "Am I truly that unappealing to you?"

At this, America actually got up, tossing his phone aside. "No! Fuck no! I'm coming right now!"

He hopped on one foot as he began to take off his shoes. England watched with the same cross expression and had half a mind to tell America he had changed his mind, but seeing the other man struggle to quickly take off his clothes made him remain quiet. It seemed to have been an honest mistake, and England could overlook this as long as America didn't do it again.

The next morning was the same; America was typing on his phone and not paying England attention. This time, England didn't even try to compete for America's attention. He simply got up, brushed his teeth and dressed, and then made breakfast, alone. He sat alone in the kitchen, sipping his tea and reading the paper, and then went out for his early morning walk alone. It was sad because America hadn't once gotten out of bed to check on him all the while. He was glued to his phone.

When England came back from his walk, however, the nation was awake, and leaving. He had his suitcases packed and was about to leave a farewell note to England on the coffee table. England stopped in the doorway to stare at him.

"What're you doing?"

"Oh! You're back." America waved the note before pocketing it. "I was heading out, but I didn't want you wondering where I went, so I was gonna leave you a note."

"You were just going to _leave_ , without waiting for me?" England asked, hurt and offended. "Where are you going?"

"Home," America said simply. "Something came up."

"Oh." England visibly relaxed. "Well, that changes things. Have a safe flight home, yes?"

America chuckled as he came over and kissed England on the brow. "Of course. I'll be back soon, okay? Love you."

"I love you too."

England watched America leave and felt something slip away from him. It left the entire house feeling cold despite it being the middle of summer. He rubbed his arms and looked around as if there was something he could do to occupy his fretful mind. He dusted and vacuumed and washed the bedding from last night, but that only took up forty minutes of his time. Anxiety was still gnawing in his head.

"I know!" he said suddenly. "I shall just go and surprise Alfred at his home. Surely he would like some company."

England was satisfied with his decision and went to make arrangements and pack his suitcase. He only had so long with America as it was, so time together was always precious. It seemed he truly had been wrapped up in work with Japan, hence his quick departure. Of course, that was the only reason.

Washington D.C. was windy that day, and muggy. England pulled on his tie and collar as he walked into the building adjacent to the White House; Alfred's office. He knocked on the man's door. It wasn't America who answered however, but his secretary, Abigail.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, surprised. "Mr. Kirkland. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I'm here to see America," he replied politely. "I know he arrived not long ago, but he said that something came up back home, so…"

He trailed off when he noticed the confused expression spread across Abigail's face the longer he talked. "Mr. Jones hasn't returned."

"Oh, then perhaps he is with the President?" England ventured. Abigail shook her head. "Then, with…?"

"No. He went from Heathrow airport straight to Haneda airport." England's face fell. "No one at the White House or this office have called him to come back."

"You mean…he went to Japan on his own?" England's face went red from anger. He gripped his suitcase and, after thanking Abigail quickly, left.

He was willing to forgive America for leaving so suddenly as it wasn't truly out of the ordinary to be called back home due to something related to work, but given the nation's strange behavior with his phone and text messages to Japan, this was something that was too worrying. England wasn't a particularly jealous or possessive person in the least, but his trust could only stretch so far. When he felt threatened, he tended to act irrationally. Oh, how he loved the golden days when he had a gentle lady to calm him down and think first.

Japan was much more humid than D.C., and England had to take off his jacket as he made his way up the hill to Japan's house. He waved a map in front of face to act as a fan until he was just outside of the building. It was a lovely little Japanese-styled home with a traditional garden and silence encasing it, keeping it away from the modern world just a few miles away. England always enjoyed visiting Japan, whether it be for business or otherwise, it was always a calming experience.

For all of England's bravado and anger that boiled over and pushed him to arrive in the country, he found his resolve melting away as he stood on the doorstep. What if he was over reacting? Well, then he could lie and claim he came here for business too. Yes, of course, that sounded perfectly logical.

"Mr. England?" England turned sharply, surprised to find Japan standing right behind him, holding a plastic grocery bag. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh! I um… Well, you see…"

"Hey, Kiku! Are you back yet? I'm- Arthur?"

England turned around again and found America had come out from Japan's house. He stopped short and looked from Japan to England, clearly surprised. Then, he smiled and came over to hug England.

"Hey! What're you doing here?"

"W-well, I…" England felt his resolve dwindling again and cursed his heart for being so weak when America held him so tight. America did that on purpose! "You weren't back in D.C. like you said, so I came here instead."

America pulled back and frowned. "What were you doing in D.C.?"

England blushed, but tried to look angry instead of flustered. "You said you had something important to do, and since you cut our time so short, I decided to come and see you at your work. Perhaps help you out, if you needed it. But…you weren't there."

America hesitated, and England could actually see the lie forming right there in America's eyes. "Oh, well, yeah. I made a quick side trip to Kiku's real fast."

"Why?" England asked as he narrowed his eyes. "Why stop here when it was so important you left me?"

"You didn't tell me you were visiting Mr. England," Japan said, still standing just behind England. "You said you had come right from D.C."

Now America was starting to sweat. England crossed his arms as he watched America wither slightly. "Okay, I…"

"Spit it out, America," England hissed.

"I'm trying, just let me-"

"And don't _lie_."

"I won't! Jeeze just-"

"Um, excuse me…?"

"Oh, doesn't _that_ sound familiar! You're just like when you were still a child, petulant as always, I see."

"You're the one who's-"

"Maybe we should go inside…?"

"Don't you dare back talk me!?"

"Well if you'll just let me talk I'll be able to explain everything!"

"Then explain why you're cheating on me!"

Japan and America stopped to stare at England. The nation huffed and looked down at his feet quickly before returning his stern gaze on America. He could feel it starting to come up, although he didn't want to question just what that was exactly.

"What…?" America finally asked, his voice low and tight.

"Th-that's right. You and Japan. You've been texting and meeting in secret all of this time."

England knew he sounded ridiculous, but he had lost the war with his wits. He was scared, but he didn't want to admit it. So he clung to what he could, and that was anger and possession, and that was curled all up in a ball, springing to life and latching on to America. The more he said, the more he knew that line between him and America was severing, but it wasn't as if America was scrambling to repair anything. He just stood there and watched.

"Are you even listening to yourself? Secret meetings? Dude, this is crazy!"

"Stop it!" England shouted. He took a few steps back, retreating into himself. "Just say it. Fess up already and be done with me because I don't know what your intentions are if you are actually guilty."

America inhaled sharply at this. He said nothing as his eyes hardened at this. Then, he turned, and walked back inside Japan's house. England swayed on the spot, feeling drained, and stupid. He was guarded for a reason; so he wouldn't let his emotions get the best of him.

"Um… Mr. England, I can assure you Alfred and I are not having an affair," Japan piped up from behind England.

"Oh, Japan." England turned and wiped his eye. He managed a meek smile. "I apologize for having brought this to your door and for being so loud in front of your house. I will just take my leave."

"No!" England jumped at hearing Japan shout. "No, please. Stay. I think you need a moment to cool down. You look overheated."

England felt he was a little dizzy from the heat, but it was more likely from all of the emotional stress. Nevertheless, he agreed and came inside. America wasn't to be found. Japan showed England to the tatami room where it was obvious he and America had been playing video games not too long ago. England gulped at this. The controllers were left on the ground and were far apart from each other, not like when he and America play and they are practically sitting in each other's laps. There was an empty bowl of junk food between them and drinks on the table.

"Please excuse the mess," Japan said as he reentered the room, having put his groceries away. He had a cool glass of water in hand, which he offered to England. "Alfred and I were in the middle of a game when we ran out of food and I made a quick dash to the _conbini_. Now, will you hear my side of this story?"

England swallowed, but said nothing.

"A few years ago, Alfred and I began to role play on our phones. We would only do fun stories that were more to make one another laugh than be taken seriously. After a few months we would stop, and then start again. However, recently, Alfred decided we should do something along the lines of like an anime in our role play. I'm ashamed to admit it, but we became engrossed in our story so much that we began to neglect our duties. I assume that is why Alfred came out to see me, leaving you so suddenly, although we did not do much in the way of role playing, but more play video games."

England looked down at the glass, furrowing his eyebrows. "Why didn't he just tell me?"

"Because you'd call me stupid."

England turned around and frowned. "You are stupid, no matter what."

America looked livid, but he wasn't jumping at the chance to start back up an argument. He looked at Japan who merely nodded and glanced at a seat near them. America didn't take it.

"America, this all could have been avoided had you simply told me the truth."

"You're the one with trust issues," America grumbled.

England sighed. "I…I cannot be like you… You trust so many… Me and Japan and Matt and…possibly France? I don't know. Either way, I am not like you. I have been hurt far too often…even by you…to fully trust anyone."

America's anger dissolved. He now looked hurt, maybe even ready to cry, as his shoulders drooped and he pouted. "What…? Then how can you love me if you don't trust me."

"Well…I trust you enough to-"

"Wait, lemme guess. You trust Portugal." America looked hopeful that England would say no, but the nation sighed and confirmed his suspicion. "See! If anyone should be jealous it's me!"

"Calm yourself. I have merely been with Portugal as an ally for far longer than you have been alive. He has never broken my trust or hurt me, out of everyone I have known."

"But! I came back and I've done _everything_ to make you trust me!"

England looked back to his glass and folded his hands in his lap. "Yes… Yes you have… I do mean it when I say I love you, but…"

"Alfred," Japan said suddenly. "Trust between our kind is very different than between humans. Trust is difficult to form and can be something that is near impossible to create between two others, however it is still possible. However, love… Love is different. It's impossible."

"So then… what are we? Impossible?"

England quirked his lips up at this. "Yes. We're both two impossible people on our own, and left together to our own devices, we're completely absurd."

"Just like our fight and you gettin' all jealous and- come on, Artie, you know exactly where my intentions are. They're to be with you." America now joined the duo and sat next to England where he made sure the man could see him. "They're to make you happy."

England sighed, but smiled. "Yes, yes I know. Please forgive me. I am an old fool who was just…scared."

Japan smiled wryly in the corner of his eye. England turned to look at him squarely. "Please don't spread that around to anyone else. I trust you with that."

"The great England scared of something? I would never think to say anything about it." Still, Japan continued to smile.

America then entered England's field of vision as he closed in and kissed him quickly on the mouth. England, caught off guard, made a surprised noise in the back of his throat.

"You're mine and I am yours. I love you, so let's stay impossible."

England snorted and, at the same time as Japan's soft chuckles, he began to laugh loudly. America sat back with a huff.

"You ruined the mood! That was an A-list Hollywood chick-flick material line right there!"

"No, darling, that was a Lifetime holiday cheesy movie line," England said between laughs. "I daresay you're worse than me."

"Pfft, yeah right. Now _that's_ impossible."

England was still laughing, but he smiled brightly at America and said, "You're impossible."  
  
America shrugged. "Yeah, but you manage."

The group agreed to eat out (sushi as per England's request), and then come home to play multi-player video games until bed. Japan made it known that, while the two were allowed to share the same room together, he didn't want to hear any "noise."

They agreed, but broke that rule at around one in the morning.

* * *

* * *

_Hoshiko2_ 's cents: This just was something I came up with in hopes of proving to myself I can still write. I don't think I did very well… Oh well! Maybe someone here will like it somehow. I promise I'll update with my regular stories soon!

(Side note: Conbini is Japanese for convenient store.)


End file.
